House GOP: No Vote On Boehner Debt Plan

The Republican caucus of the U.S. House of Representatives has called-off a vote on House Speaker John Boehner’s debt reduction plan at the last possible second when it became clear there isn’t enough Republican support to pass the bill. GOP representatives have scheduled a meeting for Friday morning at which Boehner is expected to continue to cry like a little baby as he begs and pleads with his own party not to abandon him to the wrath of the ultra-right-wing “Tea Party” splinter of the Republican party.

A teary-eyed John Boehner meets with journalists after the announcement that the vote on his debt reduction plan has been cancelled.

Tea Party Thinking About A Boehner Enema

The Tea Party isn’t pleased with Boehner’s behind-the-scenes attempts to squirm out of driving the country to the poor house.

A screen grab from

Boehner Criticizes Party Unfaithful

“Get your ass in line,” House Speaker John Boehner told his fellow Republicans in the face of divisive infighting over his latest debt-reduction proposal. “You’re Republicans, damn it! You’re not supposed to think for yourselves – you’re supposed to park your brains at the door!”

Washington Phones, Email, Web Sites Jammed

Last night President Barack Obama asked citizens to let their congressional representatives know they want an end to partisan bickering on the debt, and all lines of communication into the nation’s capital were jammed today, but who was calling depended on who you asked.

Democrats claim the communications are in favor of their “balanced” approach of taxes on the wealthy and more profligate borrowing.

Republicans claim these calls are just “liberal activists” and that most callers support the Boehner plan of fueling the economy with the burning dead bodies of the poor and elderly.

If a compromise isn’t found before August 2, the U.S. government will be unable to pay bills – most importantly the interest on money it’s already borrowed. This will cause lenders to lower the nation’s credit rating, drive up interest rates, and send the stock market crashing. All things each side can blame the other for in upcoming elections.

The House of Representatives phone was jammed due to the high numbers of callers.

Leaders Of The Free World Address U.S. Citizens

It was kind of like they were trying to get their mom to mediate a dispute.

President Barack Obama and House Speaker John Boehner appealed directly to the American people in their attempts to find a solution to the debt stalemate.

President To Address Nation On Failed Debt Talks

President Barack Obama will address the nation at 6 pm Pacific time on the failed debt negotiations with House and Senate leaders. Obama is expected to place blame for the failure exactly where it belongs.

President Obama is expected to give his version of why the debt talks broke down.

Boehner Walks On Debt Talks At Last Minute

House Majority Leader John Boehner (R – Ohio) called-off debt talks with President Obama, rejecting a compromise deal at the last minute Friday. Obama said he felt Boehner had “left [him] at the altar”, though no one suspected that a marriage proposal was part of the deal – though this could explain the President’s recent change of policy on same-sex marriage.

Just before the latest round of talks Boehner announced that a deal had to be made today, as any legislation to raise the national debt ceiling must be posted Monday for a House vote by Wednesday. He says the Wednesday deadline is necessary because his party “is going to pull every dirty procedural trick in the book to bog the thing down in the Senate – just to be a bunch of pricks.”

House Speaker John Boehner has just one more little condition before agreeing to a debt reduction deal.

Government Paid For Gay Penis Study

A study of the effect of penis size on gay men’s sex lives and health that was funded in part by the Federal Government is being cited as an example of tax dollar waste by the Traditional Values Coalition.

“This country is broke and we cannot spend money on this kind of stuff,” said Andrea Lafferty, president of the Coalition. “This is just another example of the liberal gay agenda that is taking our country toward socialism. Why wasn’t a study done on the effect of penis size on heterosexual sex? Now there’s something we should be spending money on! But to save money we should engage volunteers to collect information. I’d volunteer.”

“The data were not collected using taxpayer funds,” Jeffrey Parsons, a professor with Hunter College, said in an email. “National Institutes of Health funds were not used to measure anyone’s penis size. I spent my own money on that. And it cost a lot in spotting guys drinks and on motel rooms, let me tell you.”

A similar study on the effect of “butt-cheek tension” was also cited by the TVC as an example of “institutional waste”.

Inside The Washington Debt Summit

A candid exchange between President Obama and congressional leaders Cantor, Boehner, and McConnell at the Washington debt summit meeting.

Oh, no – you won’t catch Mitch McConnell out that easily! Moments after this attempted trickery the President left the room in a huff.

Obama Ditches Debt Scalpel For Chainsaw

U.S. President Barack Obama has apparently decided to sacrifice the poor, the disabled, and the elderly in order to cut a deal with congressional conservatives on the national debt.

Further revealing himself to be a weak administrator without any vision or spine, President Barack Obama appears to have caved-in to congressional conservatives demands for severe spending cuts that will harm those least able to bear the brunt of budget cuts: those dependent on Medicare and programs such as food stamps.

Congressional conservatives led by House Speaker John Boehner of Ohio see the impending debt crisis as an opportunity to secure tax cuts for their corporate owners at the expense of the nation’s poor. Obama is apparently willing to collude with them in order to get the national debt ceiling raised before an August deadline, when the U.S. will go into default on loans unless congress agrees to increase the allowed national debt.

Rather than increasing taxes on the 400 individuals who own almost 1/2 of the nation’s wealth, Republicans want to make severe spending cuts that will jeopardize the health and livelihoods of millions of poor and elderly Americans dependent of government aid and living on fixed incomes – the very people who elected Obama to office as the nation’s first black President in what many saw as a referendum on eight years of failed conservative policies.

Obama has blinked in the light of conservative resistance before on such issues as health care, seemingly more interested in quick results than substantive policy. He seems far more concerned with establishing a track record of legislative resolutions than on standing by the promises he made to voters just two years ago.

And that’s no joke.

Congress And President Reach Debt Agreement

Senate Minority Whip Jon Kyl of Arizona announces the landmark debt agreement that will pave the way for a U.S. debt ceiling increase so we can borrow more money from China.

Obama Jones And The Debt Ceiling Of Doom

President Barack Obama and House Speaker John Boehner try to work-out a deal on the national debt ceiling before the country goes broke.

Minnesota Closes Due To Budget Impasse

Minnesota Democrats and Republicans debate the effect of their budget impasse.

The State of Minnesota closed-down after state lawmakers failed to resolve a budget impasse. Democrats want to cut the state’s $3.6 billion deficit by raising taxes, while Republicans want to cut spending. The budget deadline passed and the new fiscal year began with no resolution, throwing 20,000 state employees out of work and closing almost all state facilities.

Only Minnesota transport workers were on the job, placing large “Closed – turn around and go back where you came from” signs on all roads crossing the state border.

Political Math

Republicans are criticizing “Obamanomics” – President Obama’s plan to cut the deficit by a trillion dollars over the next ten years.

Instead the GOP is touting its plan to cut the deficit by $100 billion dollars a year, which over the next ten years amounts to…umm…about a trillion dollars.