Texas Judge Says Obama Reelection May Result In “Civil War”

Texas Governor Rick Perry meets with Lubbock County Judge Tom Head before it was known that Head is insane.

A Republican judge from Texas has called for a local tax increase to train and equip the Lubbock county sheriff’s department to fight a civil war against Barack Obama and the U.N.

Republican judge Tom Head made the statements on local radio and television stations in the Lubbock area. “In this political climate and financial climate, what is the very worst thing that could happen right now? Obama gets back in the White House. No. God forbid,” Head said.

He said Obama will “try to give the sovereignty of the United States away to the United Nations. What do you think the public’s going to do when that happens? We are talking civil unrest, civil disobedience, possibly, possibly civil war. … I’m not talking just talking riots here and there. I’m talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms, get rid of the dictator. OK, what do you think he is going to do when that happens? He is going to call in the U.N. troops, personnel carriers, tanks and whatever.”

Head then said he will be in the front ranks to stand “in front of their personnel carriers and say, ‘You’re not coming in here.’ And I’ve asked the sheriff. I said, ‘Are you going to back me on this?’ And he said, ‘Yeah, I’m going to back you.’ Well, I don’t want a bunch of rookies back there who have no training and little equipment. I want seasoned veteran people who are trained that have got equipment. And even then, you know we may have two or three hundred deputies facing maybe a thousand U.N. troops. We may have to call out the militia.”

Head did not state if he thought civil war can cause a woman to get pregnant, which was a refreshing change from recent GOP declarations on human biology.

But the real news here is Head is calling for a tax increase to pay for training and equipping his Texas freedom fighters. “I was with him on this until he brought up the tax increase” Mitt Romney said when he learned of Head’s comments. “That’s just crazy talk!”

Iran Says “No Thanks” To Uranium Deal

Iran’s government turned down a United Nations proposal to enrich its uranium in Europe, to ensure the material is not used to make weapons. The plan was to ship all of Iran’s nearly two tons of uranium to several facilities in Europe, where it would likely get lost in the mail, and since Iran is notorious for not buying insurance on its packages, that would end any chance of Iran making nuclear weapons.

“The insurance is never needed!” Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said from Tehran. “Why increase the shipping cost for that? Besides, our uranium isn’t going anywhere. We can enrich it here – we have all the vitamin B we need.”

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad emphasizes a point. Not seen in the phot is his companion Mini Mahmoud.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad emphasizes a point. Not seen in the photo is his companion Mini Mahmoud.