He Didn’t Say Wall

Donald Trump never said he wants to build a “wall” at the US/Mexico border. He said Wal-Mart! It’s a unique new economic model where each facility will have doors for workers on the Mexican side of the border, and doors for customers on the US side. In a direct one-to-one relationship each US citizen will have a Mexican national to manufacture all the cheap junk they buy. You’ll actually know the name of your underpaid industrial slave.

It’s a win-win situation: the workers get jobs so they want to stay on the Mexican side, and US companies get huge breaks on their labor costs so they’ll want to stay on the US side. And did I mention the people on the Mexican side will want to stay on the Mexican side? So that’s like a win-win-win situation.

This Just In

Hot off the GraceLessLand wire:

  • All Americans will be required to own a copy of “Art of the Deal” – and not a used copy, either, but a brand new one!
  • The economic recovery has been called-off due to the new requirement that only the 0.0001% at the top will make any money.
  • Your new Attorney General, Chris Christie, will put a stop to all this legal marijuana nonsense and deprive the states of billions in tax revenue.
  • All Muslims will be required to have an identification chip implanted under their skin that also contains an explosive charge that can be detonated remotely.
  • Women will no longer be allowed to dress as they wish – anything that obstructs access to their genitalia is banned.
  • The President will henceforth be called “Pharaoh”, and all citizens will be required to spend six months each year working on Pharaoh’s Wall.