Now Bill Gates Wants To Control The Weather

According to CNN, Bill Gates has applied for several patents intended to slow-down hurricanes as they approach land. “We’ve found a way to run the weather on Windows” Gates said at a press conference. “We estimate this will take 75% of the power right out of things like hurricanes, slowing them to a crawl.” When asked how secure this new weather system would be, Gates said “Hey, it’s Windows – what could go wrong?”

The only hitch in the plan is the need to build a laptop 8,000 miles wide, with a backlit display as large as the sky. Dell is said to be in negotiations to provide the hardware.