Birth, Life, And Windows

I’ll start by drawing the reader’s attention to figure 1. This is the Windows 7 file properties report for the most fundamental of files stored on my HP mega-laptop, the 20″ HDX 9000 Dragon that was popular late in the previous decade.

 

lifeandwindowsrecovery

Figure 1

As we can see from the image, the boot shell command file is the very spark and quintessence of this machine – this is the last saved “image” of the freshly manufactured machine’s on state – a recording of the device’s “soul”, if you will. And you will, won’t you, because people love to anthropomorphize everything around them, so why should a pile of various materials arranged in a particular, repeatable pattern like a major appliance be immune? But this is the digital version of the Fountain of Youth: this is a copy of the current OS-install start-‘er-up data that will, once done doing what it does, return my Dragon Lady to her original factory splendour, young and vibrant and showing-off her sexy Windows Vista operating system.

At least I think so – who really knows? (Seriously does anyone know what this file does? I’m considering upgrading the old girl to larger-yet-faster SSD drives and doing a bottom-up Windows 7 Pro installation.)

I believe that system life begins at birth, not at inception. Inception is a remote and often rather random process of collating and storing a clean-burned system image for production in a massive factory in China, when billions of renminbi are on the line and orders are pouring-in from America, Europe, Asia, India, Canada, the former Soviet Union, and Mexico but not the rest of Latin America because they’re too poor, being underpaid to produce whatever’s left-over that isn’t made in China now.

Windows Vista SP 3 In Two Days

Microsoft has announced that the latest service pack for Windows Vista will be released on October 22. The new patch offers bug fixes and a few Macintosh-like enhancements, but offers very little new functionality. The two big new features are it’s called “Windows 7”, and you’ll have to pay for it.

“It’s all about burying our past mistakes” said Microsoft jefe Steve Ballmer. “We want as many people as possible to forget there ever was a Vista, but we don’t want to introduce any new complications, so we just slapped the same old shit in a new box. And we’ve added great new features, like Aero Shake.”

With Aero Shake, when the user clicks on a window title bar and shakes the mouse, all other open windows disappear. We pointed-out that Vista actually does this about half the time now. “Yeah, but that’s a bug, and Aero Shake is a feature” Ballmer said.

Microsoft is also bundling the 32-bit and 64-bit versions of the operating system together, because “we thought it would be nice if people with 64-bit machines could go back and install the 32-bit version when none of the 64-bit drivers work.”

Microsoft is also opening its first retail store to coincide with the release of Vista SP 3/Windows 7. The store is located in Scottsdale, Arizona, the well-known geographic center of computing for the entire planet, unlike those out-of-the-way places like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, etc.