Government Says Gulf Seafood Not Contaminated, Much

National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration scientists are reporting that tests of sea creatures from the Gulf of Mexico show no “worrisome” signs of oil contamination. NOAA tested multiple individuals from approximately 400 species caught for the seafood market. When asked if they had personally consumed any of the Gulf species scientists said no – they had all just eaten at Burger King just before doing the tests.

NOAA said there is no reason Gulf fishermen shouldn’t be allowed to catch fish. “In fact, the oil spill has really helped them, because they’re a lot easier to catch when they’re bobbing upside-down on the surface like they are.”