Paris, Mexico

Paris Hilton was surprised to find out Mexico isn’t a U.S. state. The heiress-turned-TV star, who was in Mexico on Tuesday to promote a new line of shoes, says she doesn’t fear being overshadowed by Kim Kardashian or any other reality show rival with her own fragrance, B-movies, sex tape, autobiography, drug habit, reputation as a hard-partying slut, and criminal record.

“I’m the original – I think that I have the best style and I know fashion. The girls all love my style. When they buy my products they can be like me. I’m a goddamn inspiration!”

Paris Hilton has her picture taken with people she thinks do her yard work and laundry.

Scientists Debunk Creationist Claims

Scientists have debunked claims made by creationists that cave paintings at Kachina Bridge in Utah prove dinosaurs and humans were alive at the same time. Such proof is vital to the creationist’s claim the Earth was created in one day about 6,000 years ago.

“First of all, somebody spray-painted these things here using a stencil and a can of Krylon” one of the researchers said. “And second, a bridge isn’t a cave, and this bridge was built in 1936 by the WPA. It says so right on the side of the thing.”

"Young Earth" creationists claim images like this one prove the Earth was created in one day about 6,000 years ago.

Man Sits In Chair For Two Years

This must be one damned comfortable chair.

Iowa Minutemen Upset About School Security Drill

Here’s a story over on FoxNews.com about how some Iowa gun nuts are pissed-off with a school security exercise. Apparently the mock shooting scenario involves a racist student with a gun shooting another student.

Robert Ussery, state director of Iowa Minutemen said “I believe it’s politically motivated, it’s wrong and it’s a slap in the fact to any person that loves our country and is concerned about our border security.”

Let’s get Aristotelian here.

A: If you are going to go on a killing spree you probably own a gun, and if you own a gun you are probably pro-gun ownership.
B: If you are going on a racially motivated killing spree it’s a good guess you might be a racist.

I don’t think the implication is that all gun owners are insane racists, just that most insane racists are probably gun owners.

However, if you belong to an organization that is strongly opposed to illegal immigration, that “patrols” the border (I guess the one with Missouri) while armed, and that calls itself “Minutemen” (maybe it’s a sexual reference), the chances that you are a racist, gun-toting idiot are probably somewhere near 100%. You have to wonder what Mr. Ussery is against: the portrayal of a school shooter as a “Minuteman”-type crazy person, or the idea there is something wrong with shooting people who aren’t white.

Workers Deploy Radiation Shield At Japanese Reactor

A super high-tech radiation shield developed by 3M was deployed at the damaged Fukushima nuclear plant Thursday in an effort to stop radiation leakage. The shield, made of a special flexible, light weight blue material, was gently lifted into place by members of the “Fukushima Fifty”: plant workers who have volunteered to stay-on at the plant in the face of high levels of radioactivity. “We have spared no expense in providing these brave people with the tools they need to get the job done” a Japanese offcial said.

Workers at the damaged Fukushima nuclear plant deploy a special radiation shield.

NATO To Take Command Of Libya Operations

That’s the North Africa Treaty Organization.

Fair, Balanced, And Full Of Shit?

CNN reporter Nic Robertson seems pretty pissed-off about Fox News claims he and other journalists were used as “human shields” by the Libyan government. Far be it from me to imply that Fox will take any opportunity to smear real journalists in their attempts to appear to be an actual news source. Well, actually, I guess it’s more like “near be it from me”. Because Fox News will go to almost any extreme to smear real journalists in their attempts to appear to be an actual news source. Kind of the same way they will go to any lengths to smear any presidential candidate who doesn’t work for them.

U.S. And Allies Start Airstrikes In Libya

President Barack Obama explains our moral imperative.

Think About It #2

Sometimes you just have to stop playing “Babe Chain” with people’s friend lists on Facebook and get back to work.

Who Works For Whom?

Wisconsin police and firefighters' unions got a separate deal in the union-busting budget bill the state GOP governor and legislators passed.

Charlie Sheen And The Economy

Why would 74,040 people want to work as an intern for Charlie Sheen, who is quite possibly the next O.J./Robert Blake/Phil Spector celebrity murder suspect?

Oh, he’s going to make $100 million dollars in syndication royalties – that’s why. And he’s just nuts enough to leave his intern a chunk of it after he biffs off after the next comet.

Actor Charlie Sheen consults with his co-stars on "Two-and-a-Half Men" about their future.

Obama Gets Personally Involved In Libya Rebellion

U.S. President Barack Obama helps Libyan rebels move an anti-aircraft gun (no word on where he got the hat).