Tag Archives: Joe Biden

Jan 3 2013

Senate, House Pass Biden-McConnell Fiscal Cliff Deal

BidenBungee

The Senate and the House of Representatives have passed a landmark plan to avoid the dreaded “fiscal cliff” that loomed up with the new year. Brokered in the 11th hour by Vice President Joe Biden and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, the deal allows Bush-era tax cuts on those earning over $450k to expire, while putting-off spending cuts until later in 2013. The deal is widely seen as a huge win for President Barack Obama.

When it became apparent that any deal would involve raising taxes House Speaker John Boehner stepped back as if he were facing a snake and insisted that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid would have to take-up the negotiations. When it became apparent that any deal would include spending cuts Reid ran and hid like a frightened child.

That left McConnell, who is being sacrificed to the wrath of conservatives, and Biden, who really has nothing to lose at this point.

“My career is essentially over anyway” McConnell said. “After something like twenty terms in the Senate I was going to retire after this one, anyway – so I might as well take it in the neck so that chicken-shit Boehner can say he had nothing to do with this.”

Oct 12 2012

What We Learned From The Vice-Presidential Debate

 

Paul Ryan won’t do the math on his budget and tax proposals because he can’t, and Joe Biden isn’t quite as stupid as he looks.

May 11 2012

Biden Apologizes To Obama For Speaking Out Of Turn

Vice-President Joe Biden apologized to President Barack Obama for comments he made about same-sex marriage that forced Obama to take a stand on the issue. Because there’s nothing Barack Obama hates more than taking a stand on anything.

May 10 2012

Obama Comes-Out On Same-Sex Marriage

Just a short while after Vice-President Joe Biden said he was “comfortable” with same-sex marriage because of watching the sit-com “Will And Grace”, President Barack Obama also voiced his support of equal marriage rights. It is an issue Obama has attempted to dodge in the past.

Apr 16 2012

Obama Pays Lower Tax Rate Than His Secretary

President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden released their tax returns to the public - something most presidential candidates do as a matter of course. The documents reveal that tax breaks for higher income citizens allow Obama to pay a lower tax rate then his secretary. GOP candidate Mitt Romney has not as yet released his tax records.

Mar 16 2012

Biden Takes-On Republicans In Speech

Vice President Joe Biden delivered a speech at a United Auto Workers hall in Toledo, Ohio.

Vice President Joe Biden told members of the United Auto Workers’ union that Republicans don’t have their best interests at heart. Speaking at a union hall in Toledo, Ohio, Biden said “If you give any one of these guys the keys to the White House, they will bankrupt the middle class once again – and they’ll re-arrange the furniture, and we just got that stuff set-up the way we like it. And some of it is new and really heavy, so they’ll probably scratch up the floors and then have to spend your hard-earned tax dollars to have them buffed-out.”

Biden continued by telling the auto workers “We got a deal on some of those nice overstuffed leather chairs – you know, the kind you can sort of just sink into with a glass of expensive cognac in one hand and a good Cuban cigar in the other, and relax and watch some great South American porn.”

Nov 27 2011

Biden To Play Key Role In Obama Campaign

Vice President Joe Biden unveils his campaign bus.

Vice President Joe Biden is prepared to play a key role in campaign battleground states “by staying out of them” a source close to the Obama reelection effort revealed.

Biden, who is affectionately known as “Old Foot-in-Mouth” among those close to Obama has been restricted to traveling to Orange County, California “because really, what damage can he do there?” the unnamed source said.