Ryan May Have Stretched The Facts

Some media wonks are complaining that GOP Vice-Presidential candidate Paul Ryan may have played fast and loose with the facts in his speech to the Republican National Convention Thursday. But the Romney/Ryan campaign refuses to be intimidated, because as Mitt Romney pollster Neil Newsome said: “We’re not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers”.

Ex-New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani also spoke-up for Ryan, saying “Well, look, when people give speeches, not every fact is always absolutely accurate”. But that inaccuracy doesn’t change the fact that they are still facts.

No Charges Against Lohan For Burglary

The Los Angeles county District Attorney has rejected the case against Lindsay Lohan in the theft of $100,000 worth of watches, sunglasses and monogrammed Tiffany tableware, saying there is insufficient evidence to prosecute the troubled young starlet.

The L.A. Police officer in charge of the investigation admitted their case was weak, but said “hey, who wouldn’t take the excuse to frisk her?”

Bill Nye Calls Creationism Inappropriate

The world’s most respected scientist, Bill Nye The Science Guy, appears in a video called “Creationism Is Not Appropriate For Children“. In the video Nye says “Your world just becomes fantastically complicated if you don’t believe in evolution”, and claims the United States is the main country where people deny the fact of evolution.

Norwegian Mass Murderer Declared Sane, Sentenced


Anders Behring Breivik was declared sane and sentenced to 21 years in prison for the politically-motivated murders of 77 people, most of them under the age of 18. Breivik is a self-described “ultranationalist” who targeted a Norwegian Labour party youth group to somehow fight multiculturalism and the “Islamification” of Norway.

So apparently in Norway they have a strange definition of “sanity”.

Apple Wins Patent Infringement Suit Against Samsung

This just in: Daimler Benz has patented cars with four wheels, Greece has patented democracy, Germany has patented war crimes, dinosaurs have patented bones, Steve Jobs has patented death, the Republican Party has patented ignorance, and Bill Clinton has patented sexual harassment.

Minor Chicago Official Stirs-Up Big Controversy Over Reagan

Cook county, Illinois board president Toni Preckwinkle has drawn angry responses from Illinois GOP leaders after she said there should be a “special place in Hell” for former President Ronald Reagan because of his punitive approach to the “war” on drugs. Preckwinkle has been an outspoken proponent of treating drug issues as a public health problem, not a law enforcement problem.

Preckwinkle apologized for the comment later, saying she thought she was speaking “off the record” and thus implying the entire incident is somehow the media’s fault.

Texas Judge Says Obama Reelection May Result In “Civil War”

Texas Governor Rick Perry meets with Lubbock County Judge Tom Head before it was known that Head is insane.

A Republican judge from Texas has called for a local tax increase to train and equip the Lubbock county sheriff’s department to fight a civil war against Barack Obama and the U.N.

Republican judge Tom Head made the statements on local radio and television stations in the Lubbock area. “In this political climate and financial climate, what is the very worst thing that could happen right now? Obama gets back in the White House. No. God forbid,” Head said.

He said Obama will “try to give the sovereignty of the United States away to the United Nations. What do you think the public’s going to do when that happens? We are talking civil unrest, civil disobedience, possibly, possibly civil war. … I’m not talking just talking riots here and there. I’m talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms, get rid of the dictator. OK, what do you think he is going to do when that happens? He is going to call in the U.N. troops, personnel carriers, tanks and whatever.”

Head then said he will be in the front ranks to stand “in front of their personnel carriers and say, ‘You’re not coming in here.’ And I’ve asked the sheriff. I said, ‘Are you going to back me on this?’ And he said, ‘Yeah, I’m going to back you.’ Well, I don’t want a bunch of rookies back there who have no training and little equipment. I want seasoned veteran people who are trained that have got equipment. And even then, you know we may have two or three hundred deputies facing maybe a thousand U.N. troops. We may have to call out the militia.”

Head did not state if he thought civil war can cause a woman to get pregnant, which was a refreshing change from recent GOP declarations on human biology.

But the real news here is Head is calling for a tax increase to pay for training and equipping his Texas freedom fighters. “I was with him on this until he brought up the tax increase” Mitt Romney said when he learned of Head’s comments. “That’s just crazy talk!”

Who Is Mystery Woman In Nude Pictures With Prince Harry?

Pictures have surfaced of what appears to be a nude Prince Harry prancing about with an equally nude young woman in a Las Vegas hotel room. Buckingham Palace hasn’t commented but there are rumors that this is just a part of the young Prince’s ongoing military training.

Fewer American Children Being Circumcised

Fewer American parents are having their baby boys circumcised according to researchers from Johns Hopkins University. This could cost billions of dollars in associated health care costs, but mainly it’s costing doctors who charge about $300 per clip-job. Insurance companies in 18 states have stopped covering circumcision because it’s considered cruel if not that unusual.

Another Congressman Says Rape Doesn’t Cause Pregnancy

Rep. Steve King (R – IA) has come-out in support of Rep Todd Akin (R – MO) after Akin said women don’t become pregnant as a result of “legitimate rape”. “Well I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way,” King said in an interview with KMEG-TV.

Some are speculating these recent revelations of the conservative belief that women can’t become pregnant as a result of rape may tie in to the theme of their upcoming nominating convention: “Hey, Don’t Look At Me!”

Alcohol May Have Been Factor In Congressional Skinny-Dipping

Kansas representative Kevin Yoder attempts to clarify his aquatic actions taken while on a visit to Israel.

A group of U.S. congressmen who went for a nighttime swim in the Sea of Galilee – one reportedly nude – may have been drinking beforehand according to a report on Politico.com. In particular, Rep. Kevin Yoder (R – KS) is said to have stripped naked before plunging into the sea where Jesus is said to have walked on water. The Politico article did not say if alcohol was a factor in that earlier incident.

R.I.P.: Phyllis Diller

Pioneering woman in the field of stand-up comedy. In 1955 she made her first appearance (at age 37) at the Purple Onion in San Francisco. By the 1960s she was a major star of live stand-up, television, recording, and started making movies with friend Bob Hope.

She was a trained classical pianist and a painter, and was the mother of six children.

(I’m going to have to start a “Dead Now” page – 2012 is the Year Of The Dead)

Akin Says “Legitimate” Rape Rarely Results In Pregnancy

Rep. Todd Akin (R – MO), who won the GOP primary for Senate this month, opposes abortion for cases of rape because “if it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Akin later released a written statement that he “misspoke” and should have said “that’s in the case of having sex with someone with a combover – rape is something else entirely.”

R.I.P.: William Windom

William Windom brought a sense of integrity to his roles whether playing drama or comedy. He is probably best known for his work on the television mystery series “Murder, She Wrote”, but Windom’s work stretches back to the 1940s. After serving as a paratrooper in World War II, Windom took up acting and appeared in many early television series such as “The Philco-Goodyear Television Playhouse”, “Masterpiece Playhouse”, “Omnibus”, and “Robert Montgomery Presents”. In the 1960s he appeared in “The Twilight Zone” episodes “Five Characters In Search Of An Exit” and “Miniature”. He also appeared in movies: “To Kill A Mockingbird” (1962), “The Americanization Of Emily” (1964), “Brewster McCloud” (1970), “The Mephisto Waltz” (1971), “Fool’s Parade” (1971).

In 1969 Windom starred in the television series “My World And Welcome To It”, based on the works of James Thurber. He received an Emmy award for his role as John Monroe, a cartoonist working for a New Yorker-like magazine. The show was noted for its intellectual content and use of animation, and its central theme of a father/daughter relationship in a season of experimentation featuring the debuts of shows like “Laugh-In” and family-oriented fare such as “The Courtship Of Eddie’s Father” and “Room 222”. Though a hit with critics the series lasted only one season and has an ardent cult following today.

William Windom is survived by his wife of 37 years, Patricia, and his four children.

The cast of “My World and Welcome To It”: Lisa Gerritsen, William Windom, and Joan Hotchkis.


Ohio’s Jon Husted Decides Outright Corruption Is A (Personal) Problem

In Ohio the Secretary of State, Jon Husted, has decided that all 88 Ohio counties will have extended ansentee voting hours so voters can have extra time to vote. On his Web site Husted says “As  Ohio’s chief elections officer, I have sought to create an environment where  the election can be about candidates and their ideas, not the process for  electing them.”

And it’s very important to Husted that people don’t think too much about the process of electing politicians, because Husted attempted to pull the wool over the eyes of not only Ohio’s voters, but every voter in the nation by rigging it so that only Republican-leaning counties would have extended voting hours. You see in Ohio the county election boards each have two Republicans and two Democrats as members. The Republican members put forward motions to extend the hours in only those counties with Republican majorities. Of course the Democrats voted against them, and of course the result in each vote was a tie – a tie that legally could only be broken by the Secretary of State. Jon Husted. A Republican. Who voted with the Republicans, of course. When the Democrats in counties with Democrat majorities wanted to extend their voting schedules, the two Republican board members voted against them – and again Jon Husted broke the tie in the Republicans’ favor.

Of course once the story of Husted’s and the Ohio Republican Party’s attempt to slant the playing field in their favor  went national there was so much outrage that even a Republican couldn’t ignore the will of the people. And thus Husted’s touting of his “leveling the playing field” that he himself did so much to slant. He couldn’t very well reverse his tie-breaking vote that helped his party attempt to screw Ohio’s Democrats in the upcoming national election, so he did the only thing he could do to weasel out of a bad situation: he forced the county election boards throughout the state to adopt the new extended voting hours – even though he had previously voted against those boards in Democrat-leaning counties that wanted to extend their hours.

And that’s what makes Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted GraceLessLand’s Douchebag of the Month for August 2012!

Romney To Reid: I’ve Always Paid At Least Half What Middle Class Pays

In his latest response to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s claim that he paid no taxes for ten years, Mitt Romney says he has “never paid less than 13 percent” in taxes. Romney added “so that should lay to rest any of these claims that I’m part of the ‘1%’ – I’m part of the 13%! Maybe people like Bill Gates pay 1% – he’s a lot richer than I am so his tax rate must be pretty low.”

If the “middle class” is considered those making between $60k and $200k per year, then Romney has paid about half what the average middle class income earner pays, and about 1/3 what the high-end middle class income earner pays. Romney’s wealth is estimated at between $190 and $250 million. He has amassed twice the net worth of the last eight U. S. presidents combined,and would rank among the four richest in American history if elected.

Romney still has made no effort to release his tax returns to refute Reid’s claims.