Michele Bachmann claims recent calls by Tea Party organizations for her to cease her campaign for the Republican nomination for President are a “stealth” tactic of the rival Rick Perry campaign.
“Well, of course, we found out that this is really a misstep on the part of the Perry campaign because these are Perry supporters that came out,” Bachmann told CNN. “This was a clumsy move.”
An aide then whispered in her ear and she continued: “I mean…umm…I don’t mean…errr…that the Tea Party is now supporting Perry! These supporters of Perry aren’t real Tea Party! They’re fakes dressed-up like Tea Party, just like I’m dressed like a sailor in the Russian Navy!”
“It certainly isn’t a blow to my campaign,” Bachmann added after regaining her composure, “because I’ve had nonstop support coming out of the woodwork from tea partiers all across the country ever since this came out.”
The aide once again whispered in her ear: “OH! Which is not to imply that tea partiers are mice, or rats, or like termites or something! I mean, y’know, they crawl out of the woodwork in a good, non-vermin way!”
When asked why Perry would target her instead of one of the front-runners like pizza-magnate Herman Cain or Mormon cultist Mitt Romney, the aide whispered in Bachmann’s ear a third time, and she said “Well, obviously, he’s jealous of my hair! I mean Mitt’s is all greased-back, and Herman doesn’t really have any. For Perry it’s all about the hair demographic!”