Use A Towel!

We have Dish Network and so could not follow the elections on CNN, as they are no longer available due to a contract dispute. We tried to watch on Fox News, but couldn’t make anything out because of all the semen that was flying through the air in the studio.

Ann Coulter Says Gun Violence A “Demographic Problem”


Republican centerfold and Fox News harlot Ann Coulter says gun violence is a “demographic problem”. Coulter suggests we need to take guns away from minorities but leave whites armed. But not all whites: obviously the poor ones can’t have guns because they’ll just sell them to buy health care.

Day After Election Fox News Implodes

Once the shock of President Barack Obama’s reelection wore-off at Fox News the grief set in. Pundit Bill O’Reilly blamed minorities, as did Dick “Dick” Morris, saying the “traditional America” is dead. Others at the unfair and bullshit news network blamed the rest of the media, especially for their coverage of hurricane Sandy because everyone knows any hurricane that makes landfall in the northeast instead of the south must be a liberal.

Palin Responds To Cheney Criticism

Former Vice President Dick “Dick” Cheney said on ABC that John McCain made a mistake in choosing 1/2 former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate in 2008. Cheney said “The test to get on that small list has to be, is this person capable of being president of the United States? …but based on her background — she had only been governor for two years — I don’t think she passed that test.”

Palin then appeared with Fox News’ Greta van Susteren and said she thought perhaps Cheney had bought into the opinion of the “lamestream media” in its biased and untrue reporting about her. “They said I only served two years, when actually it was nearly 25 full months!”

Zimmerman Interviewed By Hannity

George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watchman who shot and killed teenager Trayvon Martin in a nighttime confrontation in Florida, sat for an interview with Fox News’ Sean Hannity. In the interview Zimmerman said the tragic killing was part of “God’s plan”, and that he shot Martin because the young man was reaching for Zimmerman’s gun, essentially saying if he hadn’t had a gun there would have been no reason to shoot Martin.

This is the first time Zimmerman has mentioned having an accomplice, and police are looking for God as a “deity of interest”.

UPDATE: Apparently Zimmerman’s going rate for an interview is a month of “shelter and security”. We’re sure Hannity would have paid more (and may have).

Fox News Loves Poor People And Babies

….most when looking for someone to screw.

See what you can do when you cherry-pick one part of a statement? Just like Fox News ran the headline “Obama to business owners: ‘You didn’t build that'”. Except the full statement is:

“If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.”

Rivera’s Injury May End His Career

Geraldo Rivera has suffered a life-threatening news injury that may spell the end of his long and varied career. “It’s about as bad as it can be for a newsman, and especially for this newsman” said Fox News president Roger Ailes. “It’s a torn mustache – a very bad tear and it doesn’t look like the mustache can be saved.”

Tucker Carlson Berates The NAACP

Fox News contributor Tucker Carlson made an appearance on the Sean Hannity program to vent his hatred of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Carlson called the venerated civil rights organization "a sad joke that should be shut down", "an absurd fringe group", and "pathetic".

Why I Love Social Networking

THE PETITION (the original post):

THE COMMENTS (aggregated from a single poster):

If you take this “pledge”
You should also renounce the
ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, AlterNet, DailyKos, MoveOn, MMFA

FoxNews versus all those is unfair to FoxNews, right?

If FoxNews is bad, the others are far worse!

. . .

Petitions scare the nonsense out of politicians, some companies and people.
5000 signatures make uninformed {people,companies,politicians} change their views.
Backbone, therein, is missing.

Witness the Voter ID issues ALEC has experienced.
ALEC has no moral fiber.

Voter ID laws only ask a voter to absolutely identify
himself or herself. Were you a precinct voter volunteer,
what, EXACTLY, would you require of a voter to
ACCURATELY identify that voter?

I think a Voter ID is PROFOUNDLY obvious to any who
does not have an alternative agenda.

. . .

All “pledges” must provide logic AND clarity, or they only summon the mob.
You know that!

This “pledge” summons the mob — “the mob” is a TRUE representation of
Bullying – a.k.a. HATE.

The “pledge” provides no logic, ethics or justification for the majority of
Americans to support it.


By your reasoning, [poster’s name] , the Pledge of Allegiance is invalid as it involves pledging one’s allegiance to a flag (an inanimate object) rather than the actual nation (a political and social ideal), which is illogical, and it invokes a supreme being whose existence cannot be proven.

Voter ID laws are unconstitutional as they presume all citizens will have some form of ID, and there are citizens who refuse to do so for ideological, political, and even religious reasons. And that has nothing to do with illegal immigrants or racism.

“Moral fiber” just makes you shit opinions and is irrelevant to any discussion of “logic” and “clarity”.

I do agree about swearing-off using any American media outlets, though. Any so-called “news source” that is dependent on advertising and corporate sponsors for its existence is untrustworthy. That’s why I get most of my news from the BBC and (ironically) Al Jazeera. Neither engages in American-style “press release” journalism. They actually investigate and report. And they have no patriotic political agenda to color their reporting on the U.S. to make us look like the world’s “good guys”: the fact that we are right now going through scandals involving prostitutes in Colombia, and soldiers posing with body parts in Afghanistan, invalidates that mythos. Although really all you need to do is look at the history of our foreign policy to accomplish that.

I truly do love this country, but I really hate most of the assholes who have run it and are running it. And the behavior of our business community is, historically, beneath contempt. Most of the average people who live here are pretty good people though. Except for Ted Nugent. That guy’s a dick.

Gingrich Disses Fox News, Talks-Up CNN

Soon-to-be ex-presidential candidate Newt "Who Needs Me Now?" Gingrich said Fox News has been biased against him throughout his campaign, while "Callista and I both believe CNN is less biased than Fox this year".

Geraldo Says Wearing Hoodie Is “Asking” To Get Shot

Geraldo Rivera of Fox News says a black man wearing a hoodie is "asking for it". The controversial sub-journalist was remarking on the shooting of Trayvon Martin, 17, by a neighborhood watch volunteer in Sanford, Florida in February.

Obama Says He Doesn’t Want High Gas Prices

At a recent press conference Fox News correspondent Ed Henry asked President Obama how he would respond to criticism that he wants gas prices to increase.

What Did We Learn From The Fox News/South Carolina Debate?

The five remaining GOP presidential candidates articulate their separate foreign policies at the Fox News debate in South Carolina Monday.

Here are some salient points picked up from the latest Republican debate presented by Fox News just prior to the South Carolina primary election:

MITT ROMNEY: Has gotten really good at answering the question about being a “vulture capitalist”. He can now make raping a punch-drunk company sound like making sweet, sweet love.

RICK PERRY: Has apparently changed his medication because several times during the debate he did an excellent impression of thinking quickly. Of course he wasn’t – someone in the audience was giving him hand signals.

RICK SANTORUM: Is getting his feisty on. A couple of times he led Mitt Romney right into the corner where he sucker punched him with embarrassingly moderate moments from Romney’s record.

NEWT GINGRICH: Has some kind of deal with Juan Williams that when the crowd is against Newt Juan will act like an angry black liberal and give Newt the opportunity to make a stirring speech about just how and why minorities are inferior. The crowd ended by giving him a standing ovation.

RON PAUL: Still hasn’t learned to keep from saying things Republicans don’t want to hear, like it may not only be illegal but morally wrong for the U.S. to simply go into other countries and assassinate people. Which brings us to the main thing we learned here….

Republicans love to kill! Killing people, especially foreigners in foreign countries, got the biggest standing ovation of the evening. Everyone except Ron Paul said loud and clear they think the United States has the right to go anywhere, any time, for any reason, and kill anyone we want. Romney as much as declared war on just about everyone, including citizens of the U.S. who are suspected of terrorist sympathies. So it was a good night for saber rattling and testicle shaking.